


Endless Emerald

by SleepyIbuki



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, F/F, Non-Graphic Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-17 00:54:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13065741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepyIbuki/pseuds/SleepyIbuki
Summary: "This... isn't your problem. I'll handle it."A look into Parsee Mizuhashi's psyche. Takes place before Subterranean Animism.





	Endless Emerald

How irritating this was.  
  
I tried to block it out, to focus solely on the finer points of the sickening life I led. No such luck. I sighed.  
  
I lay on a rotting wooden bridge between this land and the Surface, arms crossed over the guardrail, glaring at nothing in particular. Faint lights danced in my field of vision as the lake beneath, which by all rights should have been grimy and dark, instead glimmered against the cavern's wall.  
  
It made my stomach turn. I scoffed and glanced to the right. I immediately regretted that decision.  
  
A garden lay in that direction, adorned with flowers of every variety. Dahlias, daisies, rhododendrons, lilies, roses and more, which I imagine was painstakingly arranged in such a manner that it would catch the eye of any wanderer.  
  
Not that we have had any wanderers since. Another bout of uneasiness slammed into my stomach, and I looked down at my feet until it subsided.  
  
\-----  
  
My name is Parsee Mizuhashi. I used to be the guard of the bridge leading into an Ancient City, where runaway _youkai_ took shelter from the numerous threats above ground. The _bridge princess_ , they used to call me. Acting as if I were worthy of such a lofty title. The only ones that even come close would be the Komeiji family, the high-class mindreaders that no one would dare approach with ill intent. To compare me to someone like that is a waste of time.  
  
This I mused, as I gazed over the guardrail. A third pang jabbed at me. Any more and it would start up again. _Deep breath,_ I told myself. _You've dealt with this before. You just need to-_  
  
_Clack. Clack. Clack._ I need to not get interrupted during my thought processes.  
  
"Yo, Mizuhashi." Least of all by her.  
  
A tomboy's voice rang out. Deep, imposing... completely unwanted. The worst part is that she knew it, and still bothered me. Still approached me. Still spoke as if it mattered.  
  
I ignored her. But that wouldn't stop her from running her mouth, no.  
  
"Cold shoulder again, eh?" she chided. "That just makes me all the more curious, really. Can't help but imagine what's goin' on in that pretty li'l head of yours..."  
  
My answer was immediate, despite not wanting to converse. "Resentment. Not that it's any of your business."  
  
"Oof, harsh." The woman's tone took on momentary sarcasm. Two more clacks sounded on the wooden bridge. "Hey, we're close enough now, right? Mind if I call you Miss Parsee instead?" I wouldn't, in seven eternities, dignify that with a response, so naturally she kept talking. "How about a li'l heart-to-heart? Sometimes it helps to get all those feelings out in the open."  
  
I looked at her as if to say, "Are you stupid?" Then again, she is an _oni_. They aren't particularly known for being smart.  
  
Here stood Yuugi Hoshiguma, one of the self-proclaimed "Four Devas of the Mountain". And stand she did, at nearly one-and-a-half times my own height. Pale, blonde hair swayed down her back as it was blown about by the cavern's wind, parted only by a large red horn protruding from her forehead- the "pride of a race," she called it once- adorned with one yellow star. Today she wore a simple white sweatshirt and blue dress with crimson trim, giant iron manacles- links still attached- for wristbands, and those noisy clogs I hated so much. And of course, no encounter with Yuugi is complete without a complete disregard for the current weather. A thick fog descended upon the two of us, shutting out everything but the bridge.  
  
"No. Leave me alone," I answered curtly.  
  
"Can't do that, Miss Parsee, that'll only make the problem worse-"  
  
_"Alone, I said!"_ I gave her my full attention and shouted. Silence. Yuugi blinked. She actually drew back a bit.  
  
"I don't think that's the best idea," she said. "If you honestly believe that you can handle every one of life's problems on your own, I'd love to prove you wrong. That's what friends are for. Or at least acquaintances." With that, she turned back and headed back for the City. "Somethin' like this calls for a catalyst. Oh, but I'll leave the fog here," she added as her figure faded into a silhouette of grey.  
  
Of course you would. I let out a scowl once she had left. The last thing I needed was an _oni_ making a mess of my personal affairs.  
  
\-----  
  
Seconds melted away into minutes, minutes into hours. I had lost track of time.  
  
I should have relocated, but the fog made moving about dangerous. Yuugi wanted me to stay here. I would rather not be the fool that tripped and fell through a decayed portion of the bridge myself. The chains holding the bridge's planks in place were rusted past their prime and covered in moss, and the planks themselves were warped to the point of resembling an ugly serpent, its head run through with an iron stake.  
  
I grimaced. Yuugi wasn't the first to approach me within the last month. A number of people came to me requesting passage or striking up conversation, or even just "trying to figure out what was wrong with me." Insulting. I drove them all away.  
  
Was it too much to ask for solitude? Why were these fools drawn towards me? I wondered, because once they realized a simple truth about me, they would have realized their efforts were all for naught.  
  
I am Jealousy incarnate.  
  
I am cursed.  
  
\-----  
  
One day, seemingly out of nowhere, I snapped. I lost myself under the very influence of the curse that plagues me to this day. Havoc was wrought upon the entire City. I punched through buildings, roads, and livelihoods. Were it not for an evacuation plan put into motion by the Komeijis, I would have certainly murdered someone. Eventually, I must have faltered somewhere in my rampage- the next thing I remember was waking up in a jail cell. Property damage and disturbing the peace, they charged me with. That gave me a while to consider just how far I should stay away from other people.  
  
It didn't take long for the "Legend of the Bridge Princess" to spread throughout the entire City. In hindsight, that's probably how Yuugi found out about me. Ugh, I brought that on myself.  
  
I don't know why she bothered. I don't know why _anyone_ bothered. All they would see is a perfectly plain girl, sick of the world pestering her. She'd wear a white scarf and light brown vest over a faded blue dress, and black dress shoes over dirty leg warmers. Her hair closer to brown than blonde, and cast over her face an eternal green glare. Nothing special.  
  
_Clack. Clack._  
  
And yet they persisted. Yuugi had returned to the bridge, a dish of alcohol in each hand.  
  
"What part of 'alone' did you not understand?" I called out begrudgingly.  
  
An equally quick response. "What part of "I'm leaving the fog here" did you not understand?" Throwing the words back in my face.  
  
"You know I don't give a damn about what you say. Why do you insist on pissing me off?"  
  
"It's called makin' an acquaintance, Miss Parsee." She set one dish on the guardrail, and it wobbled violently for a moment before laying still. "You've gotta make certain compromises before you can make a friend."  
  
I scoffed derisively. "I like how you assumed I wanted to make friends. You in particular. Just because you're playing favorites with the other citizens doesn't mean you can try bugging the shit out of me."  
  
Even perturbed as I was, I could already tell Yuugi's once-optimistic air was beginning to fade. "You think I'm trying to befriend you just 'cause _oni_ are like that?" she questioned as she approached. "And you think by the same token that just 'cause you threw a tantrum in the City it gave you some... _right_ to deny others interaction with you? That's not how it works, Miss Parsee."  
  
"Stop acting like we're so close and maybe we won't have a problem!" I barked back.  
  
"Sounds more to me like you have a problem you won't let anyone resolve."  
  
I hit my boiling point. My hands curled into fists so tight I thought they would bleed. "Just shut up." My voice quivered with rage. Yuugi showed no intention of caring.  
  
"Not even yourself."  
  
"I said SHUT UP!" I turned and lunged at her, to put a fist through that condescending face of hers. She caught on just in time, but blocked with the wrong hand; my punch collided with the back of it and sent the the other dish sailing ungracefully through the air and onto the bridge, where it shattered.  
  
"You think you know everything about me, don't you?!" I spat venomously. "BULLSHIT! You can't even begin to understand!"  
  
"You make it so obvious you're miserable I don't think I need to contest that," Yuugi replied, showing a mixture of emotion- a waning amount of shock from the attack, a smaller sadness from having the dish broken. However it was apparent that most of her expression was that of satisfaction, from having an opponent that could manage that in the first place.  
  
She grinned. She was enjoying this.  
  
"All I ever wanted was to be alone! Can't any of you even grant me that?" My fist pressed even harder against the back of Yuugi's hand, my mind devoid of any thoughts other than violence. "You think you can run my life like I'm some kind of sideshow? 'Are you okay?' 'What's wrong with you? Maybe I can help.' What you dumbshits don't recognize is that I'm beyond help! Because I'm done!"  
  
The grin on Yuugi's face only widened, and that set me over the edge.  
  
"I'm done with YOU AND THIS CITY!"  
  
\-----  
  
My left hand came down upon her neck, to take her head clean off, but it never hit its mark- she had leapt back a small distance, and instead it slammed into and immediately snapped the log beneath her, sending water everywhere. The bridge wavered, and the first dish slipped off and broke as well, but both of us were too preoccupied with the other.  
  
I shook, uncontrollably. My left hand ached. I remained in the bridge's center, hunched over, coated in a fierce green aura. Yuugi stood, and didn't move an inch, but to scratch her head.  
  
"Ahh, now why didn't I think of this sooner? Actions do speak louder than words, after all." She beckoned me to her. "C'mon. Show me just how powerful this 'monster' is that's ruined you."  
  
The green light accumulated at my back, began to pull itself off and away from me, adopted a humanoid form that resembled a chartreuse silhouette of myself. With a terrible shriek, she leapt off of my shoulders and hurled herself at Yuugi with breakneck speed, but she must have seen this coming, for she again leapt back to avoid the attack, and then without missing a beat dealt a devastating uppercut to the doppelganger's chin to avoid the follow-up.  
  
"Wha-"  
  
The fake Parsee lost her composition and drew Yuugi in as it exploded in her face. This was my chance. Blinded by green, she couldn't possibly see an attack from the flank. I took off, jumping onto the guardrail and lunging at her throat.  
  
A crunch, and then silence. Two bodies hit the bridge, sending it rattling once more. I hit my mark.  
  
She had asked for it, and the monster known as Parsee Mizuhashi gladly obliged, making another victim in the process. Perhaps after word had spread that I'd murdered one of the Four Devas, I would finally be able to live in well-deserved solitude-  
  
"Whoa-hoh! Lookit the claws on this one!"  
  
Impossible. I stood up immediately. I was certain I had struck a vital spot. My fists tightened again, and they closed not on blood, but on air. A burning combination of dread and fury flooded my stomach as the fog began to clear, and I saw Yuugi once again. Completely unharmed.  
  
"I'm startin' to see the big picture, I think." I locked gazes with her yet again. "If you're willin' to put our fight on hold for a bit, I can explain."  
  
"Why won't you DIE?" I snarled at her, putting everything I had into rushing her again and delivering a flying knee to the face. Yuugi was even more prepared than before, and shouted-  
  
"Because life is so much more fun!" She caught me with unreal reflexes by the knee and waist, and slammed me into the bridge back first. It crumbled with the impact, and I felt my head crack against one of the logs.  
  
\-----  
  
I awoke into a world of darkness. The voices of the envious dead cried out to me. Begged me, pleaded for salvation. Chastised me, cursed me for the sins I committed. I tried to raise my own in defense, but the void pressed against it and I could not draw breath. The noises grew louder and more aggressive as my conscience began to fade again; I could feel it clawing its way through.  
  
_Stand up. Keep fighting. Kill her._  
  
_Get out of my head!_ I wanted to shout and shake my head vigorously as I struggled, but again, my body wouldn't obey. The monster continued its advance unobstructed.  
  
_Kill her. Kill all of them. They cannot understand._  
  
If I did that, that would only draw more attention. I refused, but it made no difference- I was reduced to a prisoner in my own body.  
  
Something grabbed me by the scarf and hoisted upward.  
  
\-----  
  
“Wake up!”  
  
I immediately gagged, rolled over and spat out water. Amidst my coughing fit I heard the voice of whom I least wanted to hear.  
  
“Thank goodness. I said I wanted to fight you, not drown you.” Yuugi knelt next to my prone body, soaked through. “Just as I thought, deception’s not my thing. Dunno how she does it.”  
  
Oh yeah. Yuugi put me through the bridge; I must have fallen unconscious in the lake. Guess I was that fool after all.  
  
“I get it now. You fear that you won’t be able to contain yourself when it comes down to it. So rather than run the risk of almost killing someone again, you try your hardest to keep away from everyone, so really you’ve found a way to spare them!” Her zeal had returned, and the expression on her face shone brighter than ever. “Of course, I hadn’t broken the bridge with that intention,” she chuckled. “Sorry.”  
  
I simply stared at her. Was she stupid, or was that just a front? She certainly wasn’t wrong; a lot of what I did to those people implied that I demanded solitude-  
  
The monster would have none of it. My mind ran loops and twists as I fought desperately to stave it off, to put some distance between myself and my foe, but its will only grew stronger. _That woman must be silenced. She will ruin us, what we represent._  
  
A large _crack_ sounded off throughout the cave, and the green aura returned, snaking and coursing around my body faster than ever.  
  
**_We are the Green-Eyed Monster!_** it screamed, magic circles gathering underneath us, projecting its voice further. **_We are the ones that better the strong hearts of the world through misery and jealousy, and cull the weak that cannot understand!_** It stood, and the ground hummed with its power. Yuugi glared at it promptly.  
  
“There you are,” she spoke, all semblances of frivolity gone from her voice. “I’ve a story to tell you.”  
  
**_That story will end with your death!_** The other Parsee blasted off with impossible speed, hurling dirt and rocks everywhere, and stopped several feet short of Yuugi, smothering her in debris. Instinctively she took a defensive stance, guarding her eyes and neck, but the monster had other plans. Reaching forward, the energies around her arm converged into an unstable green mass, dwarfing Yuugi easily. With a shove, the sphere would have easily carved a trail of devastation halfway through the City, but neither of us expected a right hook sailing straight through it and slamming into my jaw. The creature staggered for an instant, and the ball of energy dissipated into many smaller orbs. However it shrugged off both its failed attack and the punch and resumed its offensive. Yuugi met it head-on again, colliding another hook with its open palm.  
  
The next few seconds were a flurry of strikes from both parties- Yuugi scored two quick blows on its midsection, only to receive a sharp claw across the face. Using that momentum, she sent a spinning heel into the monster’s back with tremendous force, and it reeled forward, but only to throw an equally forceful mule kick to Yuugi’s stomach. She winced. Did the monster actually hurt her?  
  
No, she caught my foot right before the brunt of the impact. False Parsee reacted with the other foot, almost nailing Yuugi square in the face. The _oni_ knew the second kick was coming and sidestepped as if it were the simplest solution in the world, leaving her in the perfect position to swing us by the ankle once, twice, three times. I flailed uncontrollably into the air, and rammed against the cavern’s wall, shoulder-first. A youkai’s body is hardy, but even we don’t like getting sent flying into walls because that _hurts_.  
  
Yet even more painful than a fractured shoulder was the truth that, simply put, even together we were outclassed. A fist fight with an _oni_ was suicide, but the monster churning out murderous thoughts would rather die than be humbled.  
  
I clutched my shoulder, trying in vain to stem the white-hot pain in my arm as I fell. Below me I heard another _crack_. Yuugi wasn’t finished, but I knew she intended to end it with her next attack. In my peripherals I saw her holding a thin strip of parchment- a spell card. I had to get it away from her, but it hurt to even move, and the ground was coming up fast.  
  
The monster took control again, untwisting my body like a cat landing on all fours. Another searing bolt of pain shot through my arm, and I grit my teeth. We hit the ground and darted for the spell card at once, which gave off an increasingly dazzling burst of yellow light. Everything other than Yuugi, the card, and I fell to darkness.  
  
I leapt to take it, but just as I was within arm’s reach, Yuugi took in a deep breath and shouted.  
  
\-----  
  
I have heard many loud noises in the City. Children crying over mundane things, general unrest and riots during its growing years, the ghastly sounds that are said to erupt from the Former Hell district.  
  
Yuugi bellowed, and it outdid all of them, even combined and amplified five times over. I clapped my hands over my ears and cried out in agony. It was all I could do, and even then the sudden sound rattled and reverberated in my head. The already broken bridge was ripped free of its restraints and logs were sent soaring ungracefully in all directions; all of the lake’s water thrashed wildly, rendering it empty in mere moments, and just as I thought I would go insane from the excess noise a second shockwave slammed into me, hurtling me unceremoniously towards the cavern’s entrance.  
  
Pain. Nothing but excruciating pain. I smacked into the empty bank and tumbled end-over-end for what seemed like an eternity, then lay in a heap of battered flesh after skidding to a halt. My clothes were torn and filthy, my scarf scattered to the four winds. I was certain I bled somewhere, but I was far too exhausted and disoriented to discern where. It was a minor miracle I hadn’t gone deaf, for my ears rang, and I teetered on the edge of consciousness once again.  
  
But one sound still made itself clear.  
  
_Clack. Clack. Clack._  
  
A pair of wooden sandals that, even on dirt, signaled the end of days.  
  
_Stand!_  
  
My muscles protested completely. I drew ragged, short breaths, and it felt as if I was being lit ablaze with every one.  
  
_Clack. Clack. Clack._ The steps grew louder. She would end me, of that I had no doubt.  
  
_Stand and kill her!_ The monster made no difference. I would die here, and perhaps the best thing about that would be taking it with me. No more Bridge Princess spiting or hurting or ruining lives.  
  
“…remind me a lot of myself, actually.”  
  
I barely heard Yuugi’s voice, even as she sat down next to me, cross-legged. It was warm, tender, something I would never expect from an _oni_. I can’t believe I forgot, even for a moment, this woman’s tendency to betray my expectations. Now was not the time to wax poetic!  
  
\-----  
  
“This was way back when, but I’ll try to keep it short. The _oni_ used to live as a giant horde on the Surface, alongside the humans. We had developed a sort of kinship through our competitiveness. Again and again, the mightiest of both races butted heads through everything you could imagine- racing, weightlifting, eating contests. Normally the _oni_ held the lion’s share of victories, but the unyielding humans refused to give up. That was the basis of our friendship.  
  
"However, human cunning isn't so easily understood. Eventually, they got the bright idea that the result mattered more than the effort expended for it, and started using less morally sound strategies. I'll admit I'm not the best example, but to someone as honorbound as an _oni_ , you can imagine how well that went over. Arguments erupted, blood was spilled, and the bond between them and us was severed in a flash. The _oni_ scattered throughout all of Japan, a ruined village of corpses and destruction where humans used to live as their final message. And as far as I can tell, they're still in hiding. I haven't heard from any of my kin since, and any human colleagues I may have had already kicked the bucket of old age. It was practically the first time I'd ever been alone, and I was... well, scared. Imagine that, one of the Four Devas, afraid of a lack of companionship of all things!  
  
"I wandered regardless, for what seemed like weeks, months even. Had no booze to drink and not much food to eat, and a sober, starving _oni_ is an unhappy one. But I stuck it out, because I'd be damned if I let something like that beat me.  
  
"One night I came across the tunnel you used to guard, and the family responsible for building the City. They were actively looking to build a community underground for the outcast _youkai_ on the Surface. I was skeptical at first, but you know how _satori_ are. They know you better than you know yourself, nine times outta ten. They saw me for who I was, what I'd done, what had been done to me. And then the leader said something I never forgot.  
  
'You've done well to go on as you have. But it is pointless to have a mind riddled so with fear. There will be no need for that should you choose to live with us.'  
  
"I was speechless. Who other than my kind would make such a lofty claim, and extend an invitation to a complete stranger? But let me tell you, they spoke true down to the last word. Truer than I could have hoped. I told myself after the fact that I'd help other _youkai_ the same way. That includes you, Miss Parsee. So don't come crying to me about wanting to be alone out of a fear of hurting people when there are others willing to face that fear and help their fellow _youkai_. The least you could do is show some gratitude that they care enough."  
  
Yuugi stood again. She looked down at me with sympathetic eyes, as if she couldn't bear to look at what she had done.  
  
"Besides, if I can beat your ass this easily, I can assure you... you are no monster."  
  
She slammed her sandal into my stomach, and I struggled no more.  
  
\-----  
  
Grogginess roused me again, to tell me I'd done enough fainting for one encounter. Had I finally died? I couldn't hear the cavern's wind howling, nor the gentle waves of the lake.  
  
I sat up as I wondered where I was, and that was a mistake.  
  
"Igh...!"  
  
My bad shoulder acted up again, and I instinctively clapped my hand to it. No, I was still very much alive, though I could have died had I not been shown mercy. That last stomp might have cracked a rib or two, and the rest of my body wasn't faring much better. The benefit of a youkai's body was that it could endure, but it would still take time to heal. It was only after I had taken my focus away from my physical ails that I realized where I was.  
  
I lay in the bed of what looked like a medical ward made out of a wine cellar. Except for the one window, a cupboard on the opposite side crammed with alcohol, and a door that barely qualified to fit its frame, everything in the room was white. Including the bed I occupied. If someone was trying to imply I was the centerpiece of some overtold ghost story, they weren't doing a very good job.  
  
I removed the sheets. And the robes I now wore, meaning I was abducted and stripped. I groaned; it didn't take a mind-reader to figure out much of what happened. After I fell unconscious, she must have taken me here after doing who-knows-what under some misguided attempt to make amends with a nearly-naked woman in tow.  
  
Yuugi.  
  
How could she have been so certain, so adamant in telling me that I wasn't the monster I claimed to be? The whole fiasco reeked of her wanting her way, even after the tale she told, but one thing shone true.  
  
She saw something in me that I didn't. Otherwise she wouldn't have shown me mercy.  
  
_You are no monster._ The words repeated over and over in my head, like a seed of doubt planted in the mind of a paranoid strategist. Was I afraid to the point of denying whatever "help" came along? _I never really needed it,_ I thought. _I'm not so weak as to depend on others for everything._  
  
_Yet you nearly died fighting an oni your curse provoked you into attacking._  
  
_She asked for it! If she had stayed away like I told her to-_  
  
_-you'd still be on that damned bridge, terrorizing more families! You heartless freak!_  
  
_No! I'm not like that!_  
  
_You always were! Prove me wrong!_  
  
The sickening feeling returned, and I had to put a hand to my head to steady myself. I had to get out of here.  
  
But as soon as I started for the door, it opened. Guess who.  
  
"You're awake!" I barely noticed in time to jump back and avoid what I imagined was a hug from Yuugi that would have squeezed the rest of the life out of me. She drew back a fair bit herself at my evasion.  
  
"Oh. Er, right. Maybe it's still a little too early..." She still wore a concerned look on her face; whether it was for me or for her actions I couldn't tell. I eyed the scar I made on her left cheek, which wasn't even that visible anymore, and kept my distance. We remained like this for some time, both unwilling to approach the other for differing reasons.  
  
"You've already beaten me and proven your superiority. What more could you possibly want from me?" The words came out more bitter than I wanted them to, but I didn't care.  
  
Yuugi composed herself and said, "I wanted to talk to you. But first I wanted to make sure that curse of yours didn't interfere."  
  
How did she already know that I was cursed? I made it a point not to tell her especially!  
  
"By beating me to within an inch of my life and throwing me into a wall. Excellent work," I snapped sarcastically.  
  
"Okay, so I did go a little overboard," Yuugi replied sheepishly. "But you put up a really good fight! Again!"  
  
Again. The last word hung on dead air. "The hell are you talking about?" No way would I ever choose her as an acquaintance. My back hit the wall; I was trapped in a conversation I didn't want, with a person I wanted to see even less. I glanced to the right. The window had no opening. Great.  
  
"You don't remember? I was the one who stopped you then, too."  
  
Even more reason to tense up. My heart beat hard, once. "Don't tell me you wanted me to be your friend back then, too?" That couldn't have been her. It would have made it that much worse! "Fool! Who would want to be friends with someone as worthless as me?"  
  
Once more, the words spoke the harsh reality of how I felt. About Yuugi. About myself.  
  
She looked me over again and replied softly, "I'd rather be a fool than a liar," amd smiled that smile again, as if that was all there was to it.  
  
\-----  
  
I knew not how long she stood at the doorway, discussing matters with a woman fiercely debating within her own mind, between a peaceful delusion and what could have been the truth. As per those blasted spellcard rules, she had requested this conversation, and I couldn't refuse. I told her what little I knew of the curse, and what even fewer memories I recalled while under its influence, and Yuugi responded in turn, prodding further. The change from drunken brawler to drunken therapist annoyed me heavily, but I pressed onward. She listened intently, only interrupting when I paused to gather my thoughts, never again referring to the curse as "that curse" or "that monster".  
  
Simply "you". As if we were two sides of the same coin. Were we? I barely knew Yuugi for a month, and I'd been telling myself otherwise for years- decades, even!  
  
The war in my head between denial and self-acceptance redoubled. And then it hit me. A simple, stupid realization. If my curse was a part of me, then the only reason I stayed away from others couldn't have been to keep them safe.  
  
It was to keep me away from them.  
  
In other words, I was afraid, and ashamed to admit it. She had me completely figured out.  
  
I stood. I couldn't let her see me exposed like this. Still Yuugi blocked the doorway as I marched up to her.  
  
"Move!" I shouted, teeth grit in anguish. "You got what you wanted, now leave me be!"  
  
"I won't leave you alone, Miss Parsee, not after what you just told me!" I tried to shove her aside, and surprisingly I knocked her a couple of steps back.  
  
"I don't want anyone else getting hurt! If that means I have to live the rest of my life alone, then fine!"  
  
Yuugi clapped an iron grip on my wrist. I grabbed her hand and pulled, but I couldn't peel it off.  
  
"I don't want you to live a lonely life." I tried pulling free again, but the effort was pointless. "If that means saving you from yourself, over and over again, I'll do it." Her voice took on that sympathetic tone again, even motherly. The harder I tried to break away, the harder it became to hold back the impending wave of emotion.  
  
And then, and _then_ she did something that shattered me.  
  
She pulled me into a hug while I was distracted.  
  
"I'll handle it, so..." I heard a quiver in her voice. "Don't run. Don't run away like I did. 'Cuz I can guarantee you... all the security and good intentions in the world won't mean a damn thing if you don't have anyone else but yourself."  
  
Never had I felt worse than I did at that moment. Tears of frustration welled up in my eyes as the wall I used to distance myself from everyone dissolved. Because I knew what she was really saying.  
  
_Don't leave me._  
  
My tugging ebbed, and all I could manage was a meek "...why?" as I slumped into her arms. The answer I got was one I could have guessed, on better days.  
  
"Friends don't need a reason to do what they do. They're called friends _because_ of what they do."  
  
I hung my head and sobbed into her shoulder. The whole City might have heard me. I didn't care anymore.  
  
\-----  
  
By the time I had truly realized what had happened, it was dark. The underground sun made to resemble the one on the Surface was gone, and in its place orbs of shining white flames lined the streets. One of those orbs also lay in the corner, lighting the room we were in.  
  
"There we go. Now don't we feel better?"  
  
Yuugi sat next to me, legs crossed again. She looked as if she'd spilled a few tears as well, and even then she still looked imposing.  
  
"Not really. The only difference is that I'm aware I'm miserable now." She chuckled heartily at this.  
  
"Don't you worry. You stick with me, and I'll show you just how happy you can be."  
  
Happiness. Now there was a bizarre concept. What would a being like me, who coveted the fortune of others, know about being happy herself? It pained me to even think about in the past, but somehow it wasn't nearly as bad tonight, as if my heart had shrugged off some of the shackles holding it down.  
  
"Still sorry about busting up your bridge, though. I can build you a new one if you want."  
  
Was that for the best? Sure, I'd love to have my old musing spot back, but that would maintain the status quo. Yuugi wouldn't want that. Neither would I.  
  
Strange. Why would I care about something like that? I shook my head. There was certainly something wrong with me.  
  
Well, no. Maybe not wrong, just unusual.  
  
"Are- are you _smiling?"_ Yuugi's face lit up in anticipation, brighter than the orb of fire in the corner. "Aw man, you're even cuter when you smile! I'm jealous!"  
  
The grin left my face immediately as I looked away. "Shut up."  
  
Yuugi's chuckles erupted into roars of laughter. The irony.  
  
\-----  
  
I got to keep the robes.  
  
Eventually, we had the drink she insisted upon, and I left shortly after. "If you ever need help again, lemme know, all right?" were her last words to me. I didn't know if the curse was gone, or if it ever would be. But I did know that if I started to fear who I was again, it would start all over.  
  
Anywhere other than the bridge I spent so much time hating people would be fine; I couldn't bear to go back so soon when all that awaited me there was overwhelming guilt. But seeing as it was after dark, there wasn't much to do in the City either.  
  
Whatever it was, the first thing I'd need to do is confirm my identity. Parsee Mizuhashi. Not some princess overlooking a bridge, or some monster assaulting citizens just living their lives. I was me, and that was all I needed to tell myself.  
  
This I mused, as I once again roamed the City's streets. I took in all the sights I could, and they were actually somewhat pleasant. Perhaps I'd pay a visit to the Palace, meet the founder's family, as Yuugi had. Of course the _satori's_ reputation had grown considerably more fearful since then. Add to that the rumors I'd heard, that the founder himself vanished without a trace one night, and his eldest daughter, heiress to the Palace, had grown into quite the trouble child. It would take some doing, but one day I would talk to her. Atone.  
  
Before I knew it, the meeting I never wanted became the catalyst for being able to cope with all of my problems. Save for one.  
  
"Blegh." I spat the aftertaste of Yuugi's sake onto the road. "Too sweet."

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a oneshot, I swear.
> 
> In Parsee I saw a ton of potential for writing one day, so I took up my pen and wrote. And didn't stop like I usually do.
> 
> I wanted a more serious tone than the "comical tear sticking out of the eye to denote defeat" feeling, so I stuck in a fight scene and a relateable backstory. Yuugi fits that role to a T, no matter how you look at it, don't you think?
> 
> Hopefully I can interconnect this story with others down the line, but I also think it's fine on it's own- whether you're reading this because you like fight scenes, or because you like the Yuugi/Parsee fluff in the third act, I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
